Moving into town

From age 3 to 18 I lived in the same little town where I comfortably knew just about everyone (it seems), but I've done a lot of moving since then. It's taken some practice, but I've gotten fairly good at meeting new people. Most of the time when I move to a new place (whether it's a new ward or just a new class at school), I talk to the people around me and learn a few names that way. I volunteer for things and attend book clubs even when I haven't read the book. I pretend I'm comfortable, and then people are more comfortable talking to me. It usually works pretty well.

I've found that in most areas, people are eager to get to know you back. Many times the people you're trying to meet are new themselves. In this case, they're wanting to meet people the same way you are. Often the people are long-timers, and since you're new, you stand out to them and they harbor some curiosity. Where are you from? What brings you here? That sort of thing.

Moving in to my in-laws' ward, though, is a unique experience. Kevin grew up in this ward, and so a lot of people have known him since he was a child. So when they (well, many of them) talk to us, they don't bother introducing themselves, because they know Kevin, and I'm Kevin's wife. Another category is the group that knows Kevin's parents. This is almost everyone else in the ward. They already know who I belong with, and so I'm not a newbie or a stranger. After all, they came to my wedding reception, and they've seen me several times when I've come to visit over the last four years. Um, I wish I could return the favor and remember them, but I just simply don't. It's a weird situation.

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel snubbed or unwelcome. In fact, I feel very welcome, because everyone is very friendly and often comes to talk to me. Plus, I have a cute baby, so people want to talk to her all the time too! I'm just having to rethink my strategy of learning people's names.

I'm also realizing that I've done the same thing to people in the past. A lot of people I grew up with are returning to live in White Rock, and I know that many of them I've only ever met as So-and-so's wife, or One of the So-and-sos.

In the future, I'm going to make a more concerted effort to meet people as individuals, even if I already know them as a family. And for now, I'm going to do better at introducing myself and ALWAYS ask other people's names.