How to travel with small children

Some people ask me how I do it, travelling by myself. The answer is that I'm not sure. I don't remember the last time I traveled anywhere by myself. During this last trip, I was certainly never by myself; I had two small children with me the entire time. I'm not so good at counting, but that sounds a lot more like 3 people than 1.
But now that I've successfully (i.e., we came out the other end alive) done the round trip with my two little ones in tow, I can give advice as if I'm an expert.

1. Have really low expectations
During the 10-hour long haul, I figured I'd sleep for maybe... none of it. And I was right! But the kids slept for about 5. And for 3 hours, they were both sleeping, so I got to watch a movie. That was well above what I was expecting.
I figured my kids would probably skip their naps-- and only one of them did! Win!!

2. Avoid United Airlines
We missed our flight partially because of the incredibly long line at the United check-in desk in LAX. Then on day 2 when we arrived super early, we had our own little emergency. About 20 minutes into the line, Penny told me she had to go potty. Well, I couldn't exactly leave the line, as we weren't even halfway through it. Instead, I had to tell my recently-potty-trained 3-year-old to try and hold it. We got to the front of the line, and she told me again she had to go. Well, I REALLY couldn't take her now. But since our flight had been rebooked from yesterday, the automated system couldn't find our reservations, and we had to wait for an agent.
There are 36 automated check-in desks at the United counter in LAX. There are 4 agents working at the counter. As I waited and waited for easily 20 minutes at the check-in counter, I realized that most other people at the counters were not happily processing their tickets and checking their luggage. They were waiting for agents. And there are only four of them!
After waiting for at least 40 minutes after telling me the first time she had to go, Penny peed her pants right there at the check-in desk. And I cried. Again. (I'd spent a lot of stressed-out time at the United check-in desk over the past few days.) Thankfully, though, the United agent hadn't finished with her first customer yet, and I still had all our luggage. I found Penny a new outfit, bagged her old one, and kept waiting in line.
And then when we got to the gate (early), apparently no one saw us, so they didn't call for pre-boarding passengers. So we boarded with everyone else, restlessly standing in line in the jetway, and avoiding other passengers as they hefted their carry-ons up into the bins. Fun.
On Korean Air, we preboarded, and the stewardesses came around and gave the kids little bags of toys, crayons, and coloring pages. But as long as United has contracts with the State Deparment, Department of Defense, and heck, even the Olympic athletes, they don't need to step up their customer service.

3. Let the kids carry their own weight
I'm not saying Penny was helpful at all. But since she was wearing a backpack, she got to get her own little tub and put her backpack and shoes in it. Then on the other side of security, she was happy to be putting her shoes and luggage back on-- just like Mom!
Then when we wait for our bags at the luggage claim, Penny gets super bored. When there's just one parent trying to keep track of purses, carry-ons, luggage, and bored toddlers as well, my temper starts to flare. So I have Penny put her backpack on the luggage carousel (yes, while everyone else is taking stuff off, we put stuff on). She watches it go down the one side, and then she's super excited to watch for it coming back up the other side. I don't cheer when I finally get MY luggage, but I'm sure we're sort of experiencing the same emotions. Deep down.

4. Bring things to do
After losing an iPod twice, I am now officially banned (self-imposed) from carrying Apple products outside the home. And relying on in-flight movies/entertainment and sleeping to pass the time on a flight has come to bite me in the past. So we brought toys and books and crayons and puzzles. I went and bought some new toys (a plastic birthday cake you can decorate with little plastic fruits and candles) and brought out some favorite toys I'd hidden for a few weeks. (She got an awesome puzzle set for her birthday, and once I noticed she would play with it for hours on end, it got packed up until we were on the airplane.) We went on walks around the plane and chatted with the flight attendants in the back. The only times I started getting irritated were when I was trying to watch my own movie or read my own magazine while they were awake. So I put them away and tried to enjoy our quality time together. Sometimes my smiles were really just gritted teeth, but at least they didn't snap.

5. Prepare for the worst
When Naomi barfed on me, it was pretty rough. But 5 minutes later, after I'd changed into clean clothes and cleaned up everything else around us, we were back to normal. And all in all, it was a good flight. I couldn't say the same if I'd forgotten to bring a couple changes of clothes for everyone. By the end, Naomi wasn't wearing any pants, having gone through all 3 pairs. But we hadn't run out of diapers and it was summer. She doesn't always wear pants at home, anyway.

And there you have it. We still wake up at 4AM every day and sometimes stay up as late as 7 PM-- but that's pushing it. Eventually we'll get through the jet-lag, and then it will be behind us. And we may plan another trip in the future.