Balletercize

For Kevin's Christmas present, I signed him up for a karate class. While I was at it, I gave myself a Christmas present of a ballet class. I've taken ballet classes on and off since I was tiny, and although I'm not terribly flexible or waifish, I love a good ballet class. It's the best and most enjoyable workout for my whole body.

I wasn't sure what to expect from a community ballet class. I feared a class of skinny 17-year-olds effortlessly holding their legs to their ears and leaping with boundless energy. As a 4-month-pregnant 28-year-old mom, I knew I wouldn't make it in a class like that. Also, I don't have any ballet clothes my current size. (Not sure if they make them.) But I put on my brave face, donned my stretchy pants and ballet slippers, and headed to class.

I talked to a few of my classmates before class started, and I was happy to find that they were also moms and about my age. They were also wearing stretchy pants and T-shirts-- not a single leotard to be seen. Ahhhh, this is my kind of class.

At about one minute to the hour, our teacher comes blazing into the classroom, announcing that this is as early as she'll ever be there after teaching a class across town. Her hair is all tied up at the top of her head with big, floppy bows exaggerating the effect. She wears some strange, clunky shoes that look like Air Jordans who just lost a knife fight. And she has hand-written motivational sayings all over her shirts. I'm not sure what to think of this lady.

The ballet class progresses like none I've ever taken before. Usually (always) in a ballet class, the teacher shows you the exercise combination and shows you how it will go. Then she starts the music, you prepare with a simple port de bras, and then you do the routine while your teacher walks around and fixes your posture and stuff.

Not so in this class. Our teacher starts playing a mix tape of various movie soundtracks all spliced together (my favorite part was a four-line segment from Jesus Christ Superstar repeated about 14 times) and just counts it off: 4, 3, 2, 1, and go! Then we start plie-ing. Then the next song starts, and 4, 3, 2, 1, we start on tendus. Sometimes the music ends before we do, so we keep going while she goes and rewinds the tape.

While we're stretching or repeating a move, our teacher tells us about her favorite TV shows (The Tudors and some gladiator show-- maybe Spartacus?). When she hits on a point that she thinks is pretty funny, she pouts her lips, closes her eyes, raises her eyebrows, and looks really proud of herself. Interspersed among the TV updates, she tells us about bone density, the importance of CPR training, and other health-related topics. Over the next few weeks, she's going to give us her food lecture in the "long version."

I signed up for a ballet class just for the exercise, but I'm getting so much more than that! I'm not sure what I think of it all.