The weirdness of America

After you spend two years somewhere, the next place you go will seem a bit foreign. And even though I love and understand America, it's still a little weird. For example:
- The guy doing dozens-- if not hundreds-- of push-ups on the street corner
Yep, he just dropped on the sidewalk there in (only) his running shorts and proceeded to do push-ups right there at the intersection of two fairly busy streets. People, that's weird! I'm sure he was on his lunch break and was just finishing his work-out. We were a few blocks from the Pentagon, so I'm sure he works somehow for the military. I'm sure that's why he has an unnatural love of push-ups. But just because I can explain it, that doesn't make it any less weird.
- The padded push-up bras in the children's section of all the clothes stores
What's this all about, America? Have we decided that these small people we see running around parks and elementary schools aren't in fact children, but are just poor, cleavage-impaired small adults? Have we decided that instead of being cute and innocent, we need our children to be sexy? I'm sorry, but that's not just weird, it's stupid. Little girls don't need to be sexy, and they don't need push-up bras.
- The disconnect from reality
We don't have a car yet, so we do a lot of walking. And about 95% of everyone else out walking has plugged themselves in to some device or another. People stand by themselves on the street corner chatting away with someone who-knows-where, also plugged into their phone. Runners chug along, completely ignoring the world around them, listening to their workout playlist. None of these things are bad, but there is also value in unplugging. Say hi to the people you pass in the street. Listen to the birds singing their spring songs. Enjoy the world we live in.
- Hipsters
Okay, I don't even know what these are, but apparently they really like mustaches. Word to the wise: mustaches look terrible. Always. You'll look back at pictures of yourself and say, "Why? Why did I waste my face's last few years of wrinkle-free youth, covering it with that hideous mustache? What was I thinking? Was that why I repelled women?" Yes. Yes, it was.
So America, you've gotten weird. I still love you, though.