People of Walmart

In China, Walmart is just your typical grocery store, plus clothes, toys, appliances, books, and everything else under the sun. It doesn't have that social stigma that it has in America of being kind of a lower-class white trash place to shop. Until we go, that is.
I took my two girls grocery shopping today. I needed a lot of room in the stroller to take everything back home, so I considered leaving the diaper bag at home and just taking my wallet. I've learned that lesson before, though, and I brought the bag. Good thing, too.
We'd finished about 2/3 of our shopping, and just after I'd loaded a couple boxes of drinkable yogurt onto our cart, Penny announced, "Mommy, poopoo."
'Oh crap,' I thought. And I was right.
I dragged my stiff-legged child halfway across the store to the one bathroom-- which happens to be past the check-out counters. I stashed my grocery-laden stroller in a corner, strapped Meimei in her Baby Bjorn, shouldered my purse, and dragged Penny into the ladies' room.
Now if you've never tried to keep everything from touching the world's nastiest floor and clean a child's dirty drawers while balancing the other child on your legs and trying to keep everyone from falling into the squatter, you've really got to try it sometime. It's as fun as it sounds. I eventually gave up trying to give Penny the privacy of a bathroom stall, and I just attempted the clean-up in the middle of the restroom. It's been snowy and slushy outside, so they put cardboard all over the floor to keep it from getting slippery. This also meant I could tell where people had walked, and I tried to keep my barefoot child standing on some of the lesser-used bits of cardboard.
The gathering crowd was giving helpful commentary, like, "I think she wet her pants."
"No, I think she pooped."
"She's trying to hold the one baby and change the other one's pants."
"Is your baby a boy or a girl?"
Finally, someone offered to hold Naomi. As long as people are going to stand around watching, they might as well be useful. So Naomi went to a friendly Walmart lady. I got the offending pants off and the bum cleaned. Penny got to wear one of her sister's diapers.
"Why don't you go wash the pants out in the sink over there?"
"You can't let her go out like that; she'll freeze with no pants on!"
It's kind of helpful to have 1.3 billion people giving you advice. I went and washed out the pants. Everyone else was exclaiming their shock and disbelief that I'd let my daughter walk around with just her "guang pigu" and naked little legs. Come on, people! It's not like we're going out in the snow!
Eventually someone found me a plastic bag, and I wrapped up the washed-but-still-nasty pants and threw them in the diaper bag. By now, Penny was cowering between me and the sink with her head down, Naomi was crying having realized I wasn't holding her, and the crowd had grown to about 14 or 15 ladies giving us helpful advice.
The crowd dispersed as we made our way back to the stroller, and once I put the girls in, there were just two or three ladies, each of them telling me that I should go buy some pants up on the 3rd floor and have her wear those. I smiled and assured them that was my plan.
I lied. I just finished my grocery shopping and headed home, although all through the vegetable section, I could hear the employees talking about "niao kuzi" that Penny had peed her pants. Yeah, we're pretty classy.