Toothbrush, umbrella, and a peeing baby

What do they have in common?

They are all things you grab in your fist.

Obviously. Well, if this answer's a surprise at all, you have underestimated my nerdiness.

See, in Chinese, you have measure words. We have them in English, too, like when you say "a loaf of bread" or "a pair of pants." You can't just say "a bread" or "a pants." You would sound stupid.

Same in Chinese! Except that you always have to use a measure word, and they put words into categories that you didn't realize exist.

For example, there is a measure word for things that are long and skinny, tiao. You might think a pen or a toothbrush would fit in this category, but they don't. This is for things like roads, fish, dogs, and strings.

Today's measure word is ba. 把。 You say it just like Scrooge would say before humbug. The left half is a picture of a hand, and the right part is another word that says ba. And you use it when you talk about things that have handles or that you grab with your hand, like toothbrushes, umbrellas, or even folding chairs.

And I've learned that 把 is also a verb meaning, "to grab," as in, "to grab a small child and hold him or her by the legs while they pee." We don't have that verb in English.

But having small children in China, it's a word that comes up often.

Our Ayi was telling me the other day that I should save on diapers by having Naomi wear open-bottom pants and ba-ing her whenever she had to poo. You just watch for the cues that she's about to go, and then you ba her and hold her over a bowl or something. That's what Chinese parents traditionally do and have always done.

"What do you think we did before we had diapers?" she asked me. Diapers are a recent import from the West, within the last decade or so. I don't think she believed me that I've never known a time BD (before diapers). I just checked wikipedia, and I'm pretty sure the West has used diapers since at least the 1500s.

I don't have confidence in my reading Naomi's signals, so I'm just going to keep splurging on diapers for now.

In China, where there are small children, you'll see parents ba-ing them. Little boys sometimes just have their pants (which are open at the crotch, you see) hiked up by mom or dad and do their business there on the street, by the trash-can, or in the middle of the play place. Little girls get ba-ed by the legs, butt hanging down and legs splayed, to do their business in the bushes at the park or whatever.

I've just been teaching Penny to go potty like a Westerner. Her best friend, Savannah, has been taught the Chinese way. I never thought I'd need to know that, but one time Savannah's mom took Penny to go potty. She came back and told me, "I took Penny to go pee, but I ba-ed her over the potty, and she didn't go." Well, yeah. I wouldn't have either. But a few minutes later she peed her pants. Awesome.

Today, though, the tables were turned. I took Penny to go potty and sat her down the usual way. She protested and refused to go. Ugh! So I asked her if she wanted to go backwards like Savannah. Well yeah, she wants to be like Savannah! So there I was ba-ing my little girl over the potty just like a Chinese mom. Never in a million years would I have imagined I'd do that.

I don't think I'll leave the diapers off Naomi or let Penny pee on the floor in Ikea. But then again, I never thought I'd grab my little girl's legs and hover her over the potty either.