A little bit torn

Kevin is doing some on-the-job training for a little while at the China-Mongolia desk. See, the State Department has these "desks" for each country or area of the world. I imagine these desks looking a little something like this:except with a few more flags and posters on the wall. Anything you want to know about China? Come and ask us! We'll give you brochures, pamphlets, and a cheery explanation before sending you off in the right direction!

From everything Kevin tells me, this is nothing like the China Desk where he works. Apparently there are computers and cubicles just like any other office. But I prefer my mental image.

Eventually, Kevin is going to get some Chinese training, bringing his passable score up to a pretty awesome score. And as the wife of a Foreign Service Officer, I have the opportunity to get some language training myself, provided there is room in one of the classes.

Part of me would LOVE to take advantage of this. I studied Chinese in college, and the reason I chose it as my major is because I loved studying it! It's one of those languages where you throw out everything you know about English and start learning from scratch. It's sometimes like a puzzle or a secret code, and as you get more and more of the pieces and turn them the right way, the picture just falls into place. It takes time for me to understand the phrase, how it fits into the sentence, and then how the sentence takes on meaning as part of the whole paragraph or article. I gain a whole new level of understanding just by spending this much time pondering the meaning of words. Let me tell you, it's been a long time since I've read so carefully in English.

So, long story short, I would love to take another Chinese class. And after finishing my Master's on Monday (just had to work that into the conversation here), my brain is suddenly free and open, ready to receive new information and tackle new challenges.

But I think I've decided not to take any classes... for now.

See, while I did my student teaching, I left Penny with Kevin and my mom during the day for about 7 hours. She had a great time with them, and they with her. When I got home in the afternoon, though, she'd see me and cry, having realized she had missed me all day. Then whenever I was around her (afternoons, evenings, weekends) she would get a little frantic when I'd leave the room she was in. Part of this was just the age she was, but another large part is that she loves her mommy. I'd decided from the beginning that I want to be home with my kids while they're growing up, and going to a language training class would mean sloughing her off on a babysitter or a childcare center, and I don't really want to do that.

The biggest reason, though, is that I just love being Penny's buddy during the day. Don't get me wrong-- I sometimes get to the point where I want to be by myself-- or anywhere but with Penny (i.e., last Saturday), but then there are times when I'm sitting by her playing with toys, and she climbs over onto my lap to play. She loves her mom, and I want to be there with her.

I love studying Chinese, but what it comes down to is this:versus this:
Who could say no to those little brown eyes?

And I'm reading an article in Chinese every day or so to keep up my skills, and when we get to China, maybe we can have a tutor come over and teach me! I'm not giving up on the opportunity to learn Chinese. I'm just passing on this one class.