Sleep

Now when I write about sleep just days after having a newborn baby, I'm supposed to write about how I miss it and lament that I won't be able to sleep for another 6 months, blah, blah, blah. But actually, this is different.
I had a horrible time with my first two children. In addition to being up all night, my body refused to take naps. I might go rest in bed, but nothing would happen, and then I'd eventually just get up again. I'd go to bed at my normal time, get up every couple hours all night long, and then just spend the day in a fog of exhaustion. After a few weeks, with both girls, I'd reach a point where my body was so exhausted that I'd have about a week of insomnia. Not only could I not sleep during the day, but my body would refuse to sleep at night, too. I felt awful emotionally and physically, and I was really REALLY not looking forward to having another infant.
So this time we came up with a strategy. I'd been taking little catnaps most afternoons since coming to Brazil. I'd go read stories to put Naomi down for her nap, turn on a movie for Penny, and then keel over on the couch and snooze for a few minutes. Sometimes I'd hear the movie the whole time, but sometimes I actually fell asleep. Part of me was feeling guilty for letting her watch so much TV every day (because she'd usually watch in the morning, too), but I started noticing the value in my actually falling asleep.
Thankfully, in the five whole days since William was born, I've been able to sleep once or twice during the day-- actually falling asleep! It might just be for 10 or 15 minutes, but the reset and recharge makes all the difference in the world.
And then there's the question of my bedtime. For the first two girls, I'd just stay up until my regular bedtime, about 10:00. I'd usually put the baby to bed earlier than that, then when she'd wake for a feeding, I'd just go to sleep with her after that.
This time, though, I realized that I need to go to bed earlier, when the kids do. I value my couple hours in the evening, just to read, surf the internet, watch a movie, or just put my feet up. But I value my sleep even more. So I made the conscious decision to go to bed when the kids do, or right afterwards. It's been about 9:00 every night, and I feel fantastic! Physically, I'm still recovering from having a baby. I move slowly, and I'm still healing. Mentally, there's still a little bit of pregnancy-brain, where I can't think of words, my train of thought changes constantly, and I can just tell I've been sleeping in 2-hour spurts.
But the exhaustion isn't there. The frustration of not being able to sleep despite my needing, wanting, and craving it isn't there, either. I'm mostly able to be patient with my kids, mom, and husband (although Naomi still wakes up at 6:00 and won't let anyone but me take her to the bathroom.... grr!) (She was better this morning, though).
I think I can do this. My mom will be here a few more days, and then my dad is coming for a week or so. Then Kevin will take a few more days off of work, and after that I think real life will resume again.
Though really, I feel like it's already started.