Public sanitation

When we were getting in a taxi this morning, the driver opened the trunk and helped put the stroller back there. I thought it was a good sign.

I was wrong.

I helped Penny into the back seat, and the driver audibly gasped as she... stepped on the seats with her shoes. Now I'll admit, they were dusty, and heaven knows what is in that dust, but I brushed the seat with my hand, and it was good as new. But it wasn't good enough.

The driver told me, "Have your kid sit down so she doesn't get her feet all over the seat."

I tried. Believe me, I would love for Penny to sit down in the taxi, but for the moment, she was intent on standing. "Um, she won't sit." I held onto her for dear life as the driver veered in and out of traffic.

"Well, hold her on your lap! No one else is going to want to sit there with your kid's footprints all over the seat."

Have you seen my lap lately? I haven't. I tried bending Penny in half to comply with the driver and get her a little bit safer for her own good. But to no avail. "Well, sorry. She's not sitting."

"At least take her shoes off, then. She's getting my cab all dirty!"

The driver then rolled open the window and hocked a big ol' loogie, spitting it onto the street.