It takes a little bit more than purple clothes and a red hat to be good at being old. I'm getting my practice in by going to quilting guilds-- and now midday movies.
Kevin's mom and I went to the 10:00 AM showing of South Pacific today. I was the youngest person in the entire audience (of like 250 people), and I think Kevin's mom was the next-youngest. I think some people from the audience may have been original cast members. But besides being a lot of fun (I'd never seen South Pacific before), I learned a lot that I can use when I am old... if I remember, that is.
- Dress up to go to the "show." Even when it is almost 60 degrees outside (be jealous), a full-length faux-leopard-fur coat is just the look you need.
- Go to the $2 movie showings, but don't buy any popcorn. It's too expensive these days. After all, you tell your friend, you remember when it used to cost a quarter. And as long as we're talking popcorn, don't even smuggle your own in, because you're old and can't eat it anyway.
- Leave your walker in the car, because the movie theatre has railings along the stairs to your seat. It might take a (really really) long time to get to the perfect seat on the top row, but that's why you go (really really) early.
- Laugh at the part where Lt. Cable thinks the Frenchman is too old. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! He's only like 50!
- At intermission (because you go to old movies with intermissions), shuffle on out-- again, not to the popcorn stand-- but to the ladies' room. Become very confused and mutter to yourself as the automatic toilet flushes when you don't want it to, the automatic sink turns on and off and on and off as you wash, and you can't figure out if the paper towel dispenser is automatic with a hidden sensor somewhere or just broken. Dry your hands on your pants. (Um. This part was actually me.)(Minus the shuffling.)
- Before intermission is over, find an employee to complain to about how dark it is in the theatre.
- Shuffle back into the theatre and try and find your friend you sat next to. (Iris? Iris? Iris?)
- Sleep through the second half of the show. You've seen it before anyway.
- Once the show is over, stand up and join the shuffling mass exiting the theatre. This gives you a great opportunity to enjoy all (and I mean all) the credits music.
- If you still had decent teeth and did fork out the dough to buy some popcorn, get a free refill as you leave. It will last you until next time.
- Go home and rest up. They're showing North by Northwest next week, and that Cary Grant could really act.
6 comments:
Your posts are an absolute delight! This was one of my favorites so far. Keep up your "how to" posts, they're fantastic!!
Very funny! There's so much truth to your post! :)
Are you still interested in the spring exchange? I would love to have you join!
I actually laughed out loud reading this post. Thanks for starting my day here at work just right!
Not that I'm reading it when I'm supposed to be working.. I'm just taking a little break :-)
That is so funny how you remembered all those little bits of information~ I love reading your posts b/c they always make me smile & remember how my grandparents were and kinda still are...
Haha. You are hilarious, Chels! Love it!
You are hilarious. I remember when I was a kid my mom took my grandmother and my great grandmother to a movie (they were the ages of 64 and 86). Neither could see very well so we followed close behind as the blind led the blind. Then they fell asleep half way through and woke up talking about how much fun they had. It is one of my favorite memories.
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