Well, I don't have a camera that works to any sort of acceptable standard, so I can't just post a picture and then write about what sorts of fantastic stuff I've been doing lately.
So I am writing.
This summer, I suppose I am not on sabbatical like I'd claimed. I'm taking classes for my Master's, and the one I'm taking right now is quite a workload. Some of it is just busywork, but most of it is worthwhile. I really love taking these classes! As I take them, I have this vision in my mind of my future classroom, teaching, and all the cool lessons I will teach. I am going to be the world's best high school Chinese teacher! (the competition is rather slim at this point)
Then on the other hand, I would really much rather be a mom.
So I go to the doctor once in a while. I have an appointment today (I think... I should check on that) with a fertility specialist. Not sure what they'll say. I've had blood tests and stuff, and the only thing they've found so far is that I'm low on progesterone. So I take the supplements and nothing happens. But I try to be patient. That's what the last doctor said, but then he figured I might as well go see this specialist that comes in once a week. So I go.
It feels kind of weird trying to pursue two things at once, two things that -- for me -- are mutually exclusive. I work hard in my classes, and I am so excited about the prospect of teaching! I loved my job this last semester working at Orem Junior High, and I love working with teenagers!
That's the part of me that makes me wonder why it is I want a baby. I don't like babies. Sorry, people, but I would be much happier just adopting a 3-year-old, skipping the whole diapers, crawling, eating everything, and non-verbal thing. But adoption is expensive, and neither Kevin nor I has a high-salaried career at this point.
And I know I'll like a baby that looks like Kevin... and me. That's the part that kind of intrigues me. Kevin doesn't have any sisters, and I kind of wonder what a girl would look like if she looked like Kevin. :)
Every time I am pregnant or think I'm pregnant, I get super excited and go buy some maternity clothes. I lent them to Heidi, who needs them while I don't. And Kevin and I have already decided on a girl's name... but not a boy's. Kevin says he has a feeling we're going to have a boy and then we won't have a name for him. I don't even have a feeling that we're ever going to have a baby, so I have no comment for that.
I'm growing a garden. It's frustrating when bugs come and eat my cucumber sprouts and the beets don't come up. The carrots haven't come up either, but they still have a few days (3) before I freak out and replant them. I'm growing cucumbers inside, and I'll transplant them once they are big enough to scare the bugs away. I'll also put out bowls of beer to kill the snails who may be the culprits. I've never bought beer, and the rebel inside of me wants to know what it feels like.
5 comments:
Good luck with your appointment Chelsea, although i do have 1 kid, i kinda know how you feel, my daughter is 4 and nothing has happened for us since. Luckily i have now found out what is wrong(which hasnt especially helped me), and knowing is so much better than not knowing.im not much of a kid person actually but when they are your own-adopted or not- it is different(usually :) ) Your kids will be super intelligent hence the reason for furthering your education! if i may say tongue in cheek ...Good Luck with the whole baby making thing....My hubby says practice makes perfect :)
guess what...dave and i have a blog now... daveosarah.blogspot.com i dont think i'll be writing in my other one anymore :)
Chelsea, you should talk to Katie (formerly Valenti;). Her blog is at
http://www.thoughtsduringwalks.blogspot.com/.
I remember when she was doing the same thing that you are and now she has a beautiful little baby boy.
I think it's great that you are doing your Master's, especially so you can teach Chinese! I bet you're a wonderful teacher! Good luck with all your classes!
Honey, you're just funny.
My heart goes out to you on the whole wanting-kids thing. I hope your appointment was helpful. I think this is something that so many struggle with (including my sister-in-law -- she had a long road but is now the mom to two IVF twin boys!). And yet it's so rarely talked about. And I do think it can be so hard on us as women, especially.
Despite what you say about babies, I know you'd be a great mom to one. And for SURE you'd be a fun mom to the older crowd (which is why I'm sure you're a fabulous teacher!)
It sounds like you have lots of great hobbies you're pursuing. Do let us know if you go buy beer for the snails. In Utah (where you've got a pretty decent chance of running into people you know, or your neighbors seeing and wondering) that could be interesting. :-)
Post a Comment